I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
