I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Bring me that man meat
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
