Christians are straight up FREAKS
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
