Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
