I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
