no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Randomize
