one word: firstdatebathroomanal
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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