my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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