Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
