I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
