WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
