Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
