she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
