I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
