i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
