I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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