So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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