Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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