Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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