i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
