You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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