the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
