i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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