i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dignity is for republicans.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
