hell yes lets make some ravioli
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize