just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
