i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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