I didn't shave. On purpose
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
