Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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