i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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