oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
