driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
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