Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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