Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i think i have two assholes
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize