I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
