he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
