me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
