I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize