Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
that is very illegal...i love you.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
