Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
ugly people sure do ruin things
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
