please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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