Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
