I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
