Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Welp...herpes.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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