Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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