I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
