everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
