This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
