Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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