i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
