I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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