At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
