Your tits are I can't wait for
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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