Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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