Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
