I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
