There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Are my feet made of real feet?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
