Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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