before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
