After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
