I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
