hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
