That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
