I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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