areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm always down for nudity.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
