What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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